


Aloe

by transkakashi



Series: Lightning's Legacy [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Uchiha Sasuke, Canon until the timeskip, Found Family, Gen, No one takes Sasuke's bullshit, Original Character(s), Redemption, Sasuke gets a character arc that makes sense, Sealmaster Iruka, Strong Female Characters, Worldbuilding, can be read as a standalone, harsh reality!! yeah konoha would do this!!, redemption from shitty writing, sasuke is not woobified in this and no one else is either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 03:14:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15501084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transkakashi/pseuds/transkakashi
Summary: Sasuke wakes up.He’s hardly surprised by that. He had won his fight with Naruto after all, proving that he was stronger out of both of them. He hadn’t killed him, but that had been his choice.However, he isn’t where he’d expected to be. He’s in a bland white room, the only piece of furniture being the bed he’s lying on, and to which one half of a handcuff is attached to, the other curling around his wrist. His stomach churns.He’s back in Konoha. Of course they wouldn’t let him go – he’s the only remaining part of the Uchiha Clan’s legacy.





	1. Bitterness

**Author's Note:**

> My friends recently got high and watched 8 hours of naruto with me and so I've been prompted into posting this fic, which has been complete since 2016 lol
> 
> The aloe flower can convey _bitterness._

Sasuke wakes up.

He’s hardly surprised by that. He had won his fight with Naruto after all, proving that he was stronger out of both of them. He hadn’t killed him, but that had been his choice. _His_ choice, to leave him alive.

However, he is not where he expected to be.

He remembers collapsing in the forest after stumbling away from Naruto. This is not a forest. He’s in a bland white room, the only piece of furniture being the bed he’s lying on. Had Orochimaru picked him up already?

Then he realises that he’s handcuffed to the side of the bed, and his stomach turns.

He’s back in Konoha. Of course they wouldn’t let Sasuke go – he’s the only remaining part of the Uchiha Clan’s legacy. Those bastards, dragging him back when he’d clearly wanted to go. There isn’t even anyone in the room with him. That’s just insulting. And the handcuff isn’t even the sort that suppresses chakra, just one that you’d use on a normal civilian. Contemptuously, he yanks his arm up to break the cuff.

It doesn’t break, but he does bruise his wrist. Confused, Sasuke sits up to look at it more clearly. He remembers enough about the police department and all his uncles and aunts and cousins working there to know that this is a normal handcuff. So why can’t he break it?

Ignoring the panic starting to curl in his gut, Sasuke brings his hands together to perform a katon that will break something so he can leave. But when he breathes out, there’s no fire. Not even a puff of smoke. It’s like he just tried to breath on the cuff.

Sasuke reaches for the curse mark on his shoulder, ready to rip himself out of this prison, but where the latent churning chakra had been before, there is nothing now. Emptiness.

Panicking, he tries to call his Sharingan. The normal red/black overlay doesn’t happen. It’s gone.

_They’ve chakra-burned me_ , Sasuke thinks deliriously. They’d destroyed his chakra paths so he couldn’t use chakra anymore. How would he escape like this? _How would he defeat Itachi like this?_

Sasuke jumps when the door opens. He hadn’t known anyone was there. He hadn’t even realised he used chakra to feel people around him.

The person who walks in is not who he is expecting.

It’s not Ibiki, or a Yamananka, or Tsunade-bitch. It’s Iruka-sensei.

“Ah, you’re awake,” he says. Iruka exchanges a glance with someone outside, then nods. Kakashi follows him inside. Sasuke draws up his shoulders. There is only one person who could have tracked him down after his fight with Naruto. Kakashi had tried to dissuade him from going, even though he hadn’t known he was going to leave – he must be the reason he’s tied up here. Sasuke nurtures the curl of hate low in his stomach and stares at the wall.

Iruka is holding some ink and a few brushes, while Kakashi is holding a stool. Kakashi sets the stool down and Iruka sits on it, organising the writing implements he has in his hands.

“What are you doing?” he snaps, and cringes at his own words. He sounds like a petulant child having their toy taken away from them. Blackly, he resolves to say nothing else until he can escape.

“I’m adjusting your seal. You’ve been sleeping for a week, and so I thought the seal I put on you when you came back might have been a little harsh. While you’re still recovering, I’ll lighten it so your body doesn’t have to fight to produce chakra.”

Sasuke bites his tongue until he tastes blood. “So you didn’t chakra-burn me?”

Iruka’s eyes go dark. “No. I’ve just put a chakra suppressor over your curse seal.”

“I didn’t know you could seal,” Sasuke says quietly.

“Well, you shouldn’t underestimate your old teacher’s abilities.” Iruka flicks his eyes to Kakashi. “Or the lengths they’re willing to go to protect you, even when you’ve done something monumentally stupid.”

Sasuke doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t look at Kakashi. He can feel him staring at him, and if he returns the look he knows that he will look away first. So he doesn’t look, choosing to stare at the wall instead and pretend that Kakashi isn’t there.

Iruka sighs softly, and Sasuke bitterly thinks he knows why he’s a teacher. He’d make a terrible front line ninja.

* * *

 

He’s in the bland, white room for four more days. A nurse comes and gives him food every twelve hours, and walks him to the bathroom then as well. That’s all the contact he has with anyone else for four days, and Sasuke is too humiliated by his circumstances to try to ask the nurse any questions. He stares at the blank wall in front of him and broods.

On the fourth day, he hears the commotion coming down the hall before his door is opened. Tsunade walks in, trailing Shizune and three ANBU. She stares at him for a while before shaking her head.

“You’ve fucked up, Sasuke. Majorly fucked up. Naruto’s already told me everything you told him at the waterfall, but I’m going to give you thirty seconds to tell your side of the story.

“So that’s how it works?” Sasuke sneers back. “You don’t like me, so I’ve got thirty seconds?”

“You’re wasting your time,” Tsunade says flatly.

Sasuke huffs. “I don’t care what you think.”

“But I care what you think Sasuke,” Tsunade says, her face dark and eyes angry. “Because there are two choices ahead of you. One, I chakra-burn you, right here, right now. You’ll be free to move about the village as you wish, but you cannot leave. And when you’re old enough, you settle down with someone and provide the village with Uchiha’s who know how to fucking take an order and aren’t as fucked up as you are.”

Sasuke stares at her. She’s serious, he realises.

“And the other?” He snaps so his voice won’t shake.

Tsunade shakes her head. “The other.” She says it like it’s a curse. “I unlock those handcuffs. You go with Griffon. She whips you into shape under her command in ANBU. You’re still not allowed to leave the village, but maybe if you prove yourself trustworthy enough somehow, I’ll revisit your case. Might even lift the chakra seal on your shoulder a bit.”

Sasuke feels sick. Be chakra-burnt, or be confined to ANBU with no chakra. Even after Iruka-sensei had adjusted his seal, he hadn’t been able to manipulate any chakra. He had no idea how he’d survive in ANBU without it.

But the other option was having no chakra at all, forever. Sasuke knows that he will never be able to live with that. And if he goes with ANBU, then there’s at least a glimmer of hope that someday the seal on his shoulder will be lifted.

He looks at the ANBU standing beside Tsunade instead of the two loitering in the shadows as her guards. She’s tall and broad. Her mask has a bird pattern, but no beak.

_I’m still coming for you,_ Sasuke vows to his brother. _Eventually I will find you._

“I will go with you.” He addresses Griffon directly. Tsunade looks at her. Slowly, the ANBU nods.

“Very well.” Tsunade still looks like someone shit in her favourite shoes. “I’ll leave the rest to you.”

She turns and leaves, her ANBU guards following her.

Griffon tilts her head consideringly. Then she undoes the lock on Sasuke’s cuff. He rubs his wrist while staring at her.

“Well, looks like you’re mine now, kid.” Her voice is raspy, like she doesn’t use it very often. “Follow me.”

He follows her down the hall, the white walls as blank here as they’d been in his room. He doesn’t have any shoes, and isn’t wearing anything but his hospital shift, but she doesn’t seem to care, and he won’t complain in front of her. Stubbornly, he makes that resolution. If she’s going to be his Captain, then she won’t hear one complaint from him. And neither would anyone else.

She opens a broom closet that instead turns out to be a winding stair case, going down. As they descend into the darkness, she lights a small flame between her fingers and talks.

“Things in ANBU are different to what you’ve been used to. You’ve been admitted in strange circumstances, and most people are going to think that you don’t really belong. They’re going to be right. Your sensei pulled a lot of strings to get this to happen for you, including pulling a big favour from me to get me to agree to take you on my team. I know you tried to leave – which is illegal, by the way, if you forgot that you signed a contract with the state – but I don’t really care why. I’ve been briefed by Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-san, I’ve looked through just about every file relating to you and spoken to your genin team and other jounin who have been around you. I know you want to kill your brother, and I know that you were stupid to try and go to Orochimaru for power, because he would have chewed you up and spat you out without even thinking too much about it.”

She stops in the middle of the staircase to turn around and look at him. “So I’m going to give you a choice, here and now, before I show you anything, before I introduce you to anyone. This is just between us. I didn’t talk to the Hokage about this, and I won’t. She’s left me to deal with you because she trusts me. So here’s the deal. We can make the next few years painful. You can try to disobey me, and I’ll kick your ass back into line, painfully, every time. You won’t have any friends and you’ll never regain any status as a ninja after you leave ANBU because everyone will know you’re a piece of shit. Or, you can work with me and I’ll train you, properly, in a way that will probably increase your chances of offing your brother, and if you get probation, and I’ll make sure you’re assigned to that mission. What will it be?”

Sasuke can’t see her eyes through her mask, but he knows that she must be staring at her. “I’ll learn from you,” he says eventually, because he might as well do something with this prison time.

“No, that wasn’t the deal. You obey me. And if you’re good, then I’ll teach you.”

Sasuke seethes. She must have gotten this from Kakashi. It was the same training method that he always used on Sasuke. But he’d managed to get around him, so he could do it to her as well. “Fine,” he grunts. “I’ll follow your orders.”

“Good.” She takes off her mask and holds out a hand. Sasuke shakes it while examining her. She has light brown hair and eyes, and her hair is pinned up neatly. She isn’t wearing any make up, and her face is pretty in a handsome kind of way.

“Asahina Sayaka.”

“Uchiha Sasuke,” Sasuke says because he isn’t quite sure how to respond to the introduction.

She nods. “Call me Asahina-taichou when we’re off the field and unmasked. Otherwise, I’m Griffon to you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Salute when recognising your captain for the first time, and then for any higher ranking ANBU. For you, that’s going to be just about everyone.”

Sasuke stands up straight and salutes. If he’s got any chance of deceiving her, he’s going to have to spend time sucking up first.

She lifts an eyebrow. “Saluting is normally done with a fist instead of an open hand in ANBU.” Sasuke adjusts his hand and stance as she directs until she nods. “I’m going to forge something out of you yet, Uchiha. Do what I say, and we’ll get along just fine.”

She turns and keeps walking down the stairs. They must be below ground floor by now. Asahina’s light doesn’t extend very far.

Sasuke swallows and follows her down into the darkness.

* * *

 

Asahina doesn’t take him to meet the rest of the team, or to show him the barracks, and doesn’t introduce him to the silent ANBU members they pass. Instead, she ushers him into a room filled with supplies.

“Find stuff in your size. Three uniforms, and change into one.”

Sasuke starts poking around the piles. Most seem to be designed to be worn for adults. He finds a dusty box near the back of the room with gear that looks like it might fit. He holds it up and decides that it’s probably the closest he’s found so far, so he digs around and manages to scrounge up three uniforms. When he glances back at Asahina, she’s idly flipping a kunai through her fingers while watching the corridor, so he changes as quickly as he can and then presents himself to her.

They hardly look alike. The ANBU uniform consists of a sleeveless black shirt, long pants made up of a heavy fabric that Sasuke thinks will be able to counter most kunai, and long black sandals. In addition to Sasuke’s clothes, Asahina is wearing the ANBU grey body armour, long black gloves and arm guards. She has a katana strapped to her back and her Griffon mask is hanging at her belt. He can’t see a kunai pouch, but she must have pulled the kunai she’s fidgeting with from somewhere, so he doesn’t doubt that she has more weaponry on her. She also has a bandage around her right arm, but Sasuke thinks that it might be because of an injury rather than her everyday gear.

She looks him over and nods. “Body armour and weaponry is issued separately. Only one more thing we need to fetch for today.”

She leads him down more dim corridors and stairs. She breaks into a run and Sasuke flings himself after her, but she still beats him easily to her destination, a man in a blank mask who is moving in the opposite direction to them.

“Uchiha!” she snaps, and Sasuke barely makes it to her side before the ANBU with the designless mask performs a few hand seals and the corridor seals itself behind them.

“The layout of the corridors is changed every few days,” Asahina tells him as they move on. “I didn’t think you’d take so long finding something that would fit you. If he’d sealed it we would have had to go the long way around. I can’t manipulate earth.”

Sasuke files that away in his observations about her – _can’t manipulate earth._ She used fire in the stairwell, so she must have a fire affinity.

They continue through the twisted maze, which Sasuke now is beginning to realise goes under probably the whole of Konoha. They come to a larger room which is more brightly lit, and Asahina smiles at the person behind the desk.

“Bluejay, it’s nice to see you. Still on bed rest I see?”

“Yep. Annoying as fuck. That him?” The man pops the _p_ on ‘ _yep’._

“Yes. We’re here for a mask.”

“Hmm, well at least I get to do something interesting today.” Bluejay stands up and files through a cabinet. “What were you thinking?”

“Something flighty,” Asahina drawls, and Bluejay laughs. Sasuke grits his teeth.

“What about this?” Bluejay pulls out a mask and gave it to Asahina before he can see it.

“Perfect.”

“Great.” Bluejay pulled out a form. “Uchiha, read and sign, please.” He gives Sasuke a clipboard and a pen.

The form states that he is signing out the mask for the first time. Under it are spaces for him to sign it in and out as needed.

“The signing in and out is mostly informal,” Asahina tells him. “You don’t have to hand the mask back in. It’s just a way to say that you’re going off duty.”

Sasuke nods and inks his name, then signs.

“What animal is the mask?” He asks, because there’s a space and she hasn’t told him yet.

She grins at him, teeth shining in the low light. It feels like a threat.

“Hawk.”

* * *

 

Getting the ANBU tattoo is more anti-climactic than Sasuke expected.

There’s no audience, just a harried looking man who sets his equipment out efficiently before sketching the design on Sasuke’s shoulder. Asahina hovers near the wall, looking bored as the tattooist directs Sasuke to take off his shirt. Sasuke watches curiously as he shaves that part of his arm and then tries not to wince as the needle starts. It doesn’t really hurt, but it feels _weird_ – it takes him about ten seconds to decide that he doesn’t like the sensation. Asahina watches him with an amused expression from the other side of the room, and Sasuke tries not to scowl at her. Instead he stares at the wall and plots.

He’s obviously going to be watched for the immediate future. Since his first escape attempt had failed, he’ll definitely have a lot more trouble with any plan he comes up with. Asahina will be on guard, the patrols around the village will be on guard, every frigging ninja probably knows that he’d tried to leave, so anyone he saw would likely knock him out and ask questions later. Not to mention that he can’t outrun them with no chakra.

Coldly furious at the entire situation, Sasuke fumes to himself. He would find an opportunity to escape, but this time he’ll be smart about it. He has watchers, but they can’t watch him forever.

He’ll get out of here, one way or another.

* * *

 

He meets the two other members on his team when Asahina shows him their barracks space.

“ANBU usually have apartments outside the barracks, but you’re confined here until the Commander or Tsunade says you aren’t. So that means I am, as well. And because I am, everyone else is because I’m not putting up with you by myself.”

Great. A reason for his new team to dislike him already, and he hasn’t even met them yet.

He walks in after Asahina to find them both there.

One is blonde, unusual for the Leaf, and has bright red lipstick on. The other is dark in every sense of the word, hair, skin, and eyes. Both look unimpressed. Sasuke tries not to quiver under their combined gaze.

“This is Uchiha Sasuke, codename Hawk, your new teammate.” Asahina steps away and heads for a locker, where she spins the dial and starts messing around with whatever is inside.

“He couldn’t even have been a girl,” the blonde woman mourns. “Then we could have kicked ass at missions and rubbed it in stupid Daichi-kun’s face.”

“We’re not even allowed to go on missions anymore, remember?” The dark woman sighs. “I’m Amori Kora.”

“Tsune Sara,” the blonde adds.

“Amori-san, Tsune-san,” Sasuke says, trying to keep his voice as toneless as he could. He salutes them, and sees Asahina look him over before giving a nod of approval.

Tsune snorts. “Well, keep that up and we’ll get along well enough. What’s the plan taichou?”

“Tsunade gave us three days to be mission ready, so training.”

“Bah, ‘mission ready’. Call it what it is, glorified babysitting.” Amori tilts her head as she looks Sasuke over. “That refers to you and the in village missions we’ll be getting, by the way.”

Sasuke doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he says nothing.

“Kora, don’t antagonise him. We’ll head to training ground twenty four, so you two go ahead and warm up. We need to get him kitted out first.”

The two ANBU nod and then poof out of existence in a cloud as they both shunshin out of the room.

“Glorified babysitting, huh?” Sasuke asks.

Asahina lifts an eyebrow. “Well, is she wrong?”

Sasuke can’t find words to rebut her, especially since he agrees, so he just follows Asahina silently out of the barracks.

* * *

 

It had taken longer than Sasuke had thought to get armour that fitted him. Asahina hadn’t let him receive a regulation sword, which annoyed him, but she had allowed him to carry the weapons pouch that he received, which he promptly straps to his thigh.

Then she ran out to training ground twenty four, streaking ahead of Sasuke and then only just remaining in sight. Annoyed that she’s so obviously flaunting her chakra when he can’t use any, Sasuke runs the old fashioned way, setting as fast a pace as he an without having to stop half way. So it isn’t that fast. At all.

He jogs to the training ground.

Asahina is waiting for him by the time he manages to catch up to her at the entrance to the training ground. Inside, he can hear earth roaring and wind singing, but he can’t see anything because there’s a large earth wall surrounding the entire area.

Asahina jumps up on top of it and whistles a few times. The fighting sounds from inside stop, and then a section of the earth wall rumbles down. Sasuke steps inside and it crawls up again, blocking off the exit.

Asahina lands next to him, and Tsune and Amori come over towards them. Training ground twenty four is a flat piece of earth with no grass or any trees. The ground is broken up, and Sasuke figures that one of them is probably an earth user.

“What took you so long?” Tsune asks. Both of them are wearing their masks, so Sasuke figures he should call them by their codenames now. His own mask is heavy on his head. Tsune’s is obviously some sort of cat.

“Hawk can’t use any chakra, so he can’t run. Just jog like any civilian,” Asahina says, and Sasuke is glad for his mask, because it hides his blush and his scowl.

“Huh,” Amori mutters. “Well that’s going to be a pain in the ass.” Her mask is a snarling animal, something heavy.

“It’s going to be something we have to work around.” She looks them all over. “Bear, I want you to fling some rocks at Hawk. Don’t pamper him but don’t make them too big. Tiger, you and I can watch.”

Asahina and Tsune jump back to sit on top of the earth wall. Sasuke turns to face Amori with trepidation. Now that he knows her codename, he can see the Bear in her mask.

“Okay then,” Amori says, and makes a handsign. Sasuke looks around as the earth beneath him shifts, and starts running.

* * *

 

“Sayaka, this isn’t going to work.”

Sayaka sighs softly. When Kakashi had suggested this, she hadn’t realised Sasuke’s chakra was going to be sealed. Sara is right.

They’ve been watching Kora pelt Sasuke with rocks for half an hour now. He’s dodging some of them, but he’s going to be sore tomorrow with the ones he can’t sidestep in time. Kora casually flicks the rocks at him, and Sasuke would dive away from one, only to find another coming at him from the opposite direction.

“He doesn’t have _any_ chakra. If he had some, then he could at least fucking _move_. If he can’t even roof hop then how is he meant to keep up with us? Are we gonna have to take turns carrying him?”

She taps her fingers on the earth wall impatiently. _Risk, reward._  That had been Kakashi’s advice for dealing with him. Take a risk with him, then reward him if he passes it. _What if he doesn’t pass it?_ What risk could she set up now to reward him with a bit of chakra control? She’d talked to Iruka, and he said he’d created seals for all different levels of chakra control for Sasuke.

Sara watches him almost as closely as Sayaka does. The whole team had been briefed on Sasuke – the whole ANBU department, actually – and Sara usually uses genjutsu in her attacks, so she has the most working knowledge of a human brain. Sayaka had discussed how they were going to manage Sasuke, and her team agreed with her – risk, reward.

“What’s the risk?” Sayaka muses, more to herself than to Sara.

Sara props her head up with her hand. “It can’t be something physical. Look at him. He’s pathetic.”

He is pathetic. “He’s a child,” she reminds them both.

Sara scoffs. “A child who tried to defect. A child with the Sharingan. A child who has his chakra sealed because of what he’s done.”

“That’s true,” Sayaka says. “But he’s still thirteen.” She wonders if the Hokage has forgotten that, or if like Sara, she doesn’t care.

Sara makes a sound, but she doesn’t argue anymore. “We’re going to have our work cut out for us on this mission, aren’t we?”

That doesn’t deserve an answer. Sayaka whistles, and Kora stops throwing rocks at the poor boy. Sasuke rolls out of the way of the last one, and then stands, looking warily at her.

“Enough. Hawk, come up here. Tiger, Bear, show me the triple flip combo you’ve been working on.”

Sara grumbles at her but jumps down from the wall. Kora looks at Sasuke and then shifts the wall so a set of stairs appeared. Sasuke stomps up them, then sits down gingerly.

She considers the conundrum next to her as Kora and Sara start the combined exercise.

Risk, reward.

* * *

 

That night, Asahina leaves the door open.

She’d shown Sasuke the way into the underground network that didn’t include going through the hospital. The entrance isn’t that far from the rooms where Sasuke is supposed to be locked up, and there are only storage rooms on the way out. Asahina had said that they aren’t near the centre of the ANBU maze, and that most agents leave at the end of the day, either on a mission or on their way to their own home. The only ANBU who remain are the ones who guard the places of interest around the maze, and those who sleep in the barracks.

Sasuke thinks that it would be easy to leave once he’d realised how close to the exit they were, but he hadn’t expected to be left alone the first night.

Asahina says that she’s going drinking with some friends, and Tsune and Amori had gone with her. Sasuke isn’t invited, and he doesn’t ask to go.

It feels like a setup.

_“You obey me. And if you’re good, then I’ll teach you.”_

Sasuke investigates the entirety of the barrack while thinking. There are four rooms, three small and one a little larger. The largest one smells like Asahina, and the two on the end have things scattered around them. So Sasuke pokes his head into his room, between Asahina and the others.

It’s larger than he expected. There’s a desk, a chair, a bed, and a waist high wardrobe. Sasuke puts his extra uniforms and armour into the wardrobe. The bed is a king single and is comfortable, and there are thick blankets and some towels piled at the end. The desk has scroll holders and a shelf, both empty. The chair is wooden, but well made.

At each end of the corridor connecting the bedrooms there is a bathroom. The one on Tsune and Amori’s end has two shower stalls, two toilets, and two washbasins. Make up is piled neatly on the shelves between the two mirrors.

The bathroom on Asahina and Sasuke’s end is also in use. It’s identical to the other bathroom, except it has two urinals and one stall. There are toiletries scattered around. Asahina must have been using this as her bathroom.

Sasuke retreats to the main area. There are two benches running parallel to each other, with lockers lining the walls, and space in the middle. Sasuke sits down on one of the benches.

He’d been pummelled today by Amori. He’d still been able to roll and dive like normal, but his jumping and running had been set back to pre-Academy levels, when he didn’t know how to utilise his chakra in his movements. He’d felt like an incompetent child on the field, dodging one rock and then getting hit by another. Not one rock had hit his head, but Amori hadn’t spared any other part of his body. He’d be black and blue tomorrow. He lifts his shirt and grimaces. He’s black and blue _now._

The door taunts him.

She must have left it open on purpose. Asahina is an ANBU captain. There’s no chance this is by accident. And yet, a part of him is having a hard time resisting the temptation. Freedom. He can almost taste it. If he put on his mask, he wouldn’t be stopped or questioned at the gate, even if he went through on foot.

She must have left it open on purpose.

Sasuke goes to bed. He’d need his strength for tomorrow.

* * *

 

Sasuke wakes to find Asahina next to his bed, watching him with amusement.

“We start days early here,” is what she says, but Sasuke thinks he can hear her approval under it.

She disappears out of his door and Sasuke rolls out of bed to look at the analogue clock next to the door. Four thirty. He’s glad for his early night then.

Sasuke pokes his head out of his door. Asahina is standing in the doorway to the common room, picking at her nails with her kunai, mask hanging at her belt, hair immaculate.

“You can use the bathroom on our end, if you’ll put up with me,” Asahina tells him. “I wouldn’t recommend trying to intrude on Sara or Kora.”

Sasuke nods and grabs a towel and a uniform and ducks into the bathroom to take a shower. He comes out dressed and trying to forget the nice shade of purple he’d turned overnight.

Amori and Tsune are waiting with Asahina in the common area. Sasuke stands next to Asahina, who checks over his gear before nodding. “Well at least you can keep yourself in order. Now, firstly, to breakfast!”

The cafeteria is as loud as it had been yesterday, which isn’t very loud at all. Sasuke picks out some food and sits down with his team. Asahina points out a few people and Sasuke tries to remember them all.

After breakfast, Asahina dismisses Tsune and Amori. “They’re going on patrol. Usually one team splits it up between them, so we’ll relieve them and take the afternoon shift.”

“Do ANBU usually patrol around the village?” Sasuke asks, curious despite himself.

“If there’s enough teams in, and no one is seriously injured, yes. That’s most of the time, but sometimes there aren’t enough people in, and when that happens the extra jounin in the village usually take over for a few days while we sort everything out.” Asahina leads them out of another entrance, this one coming out in an unassuming flower shop. She’d made them dump all their armour back in the barracks, so Sasuke feels like any other ninja as they leave the shop to start walking through the village.

Asahina either knows that he doesn’t want to see anyone he knows, or they’re just lucky, but Sasuke doesn’t have to look anyone in the eyes as they make their way to wherever Asahina is taking them. However, when she stops he’s surprised to find them outside the Academy.

“Is this a prelude to a lecture?”

She snorts. “I don’t do lectures, kid. We’re here on business.”

Sasuke follows her through the doors to wait in a bland room he hadn’t known existed. Asahina leans against the wall next to the window and keeps her eyes fixed outside, so Sasuke leans against his own wall and looks at the floor.

The familiar bell rings to signal the morning break, and Sasuke tilts his head slightly so he can see outside to where the kids are spilling out into the playground. He resists the urge to snort, but he’s sure that Asahina knows anyway.

Sasuke is hardly surprised when Iruka walks through the door. There’s only one reason that they would be waiting here, and it’s because Asahina had seen how useless he’d been without any access to chakra.

“Griffon-san,” Iruka says, nodding to Asahina. She rolls her shoulders.

“Just Sayaka is fine, Iruka. Do you need me to do anything?”

Iruka shakes his head. “No. It shouldn’t take too long.”

Asahina loiters at the edge of the room while Iruka directs Sasuke to sit down and take off his shirt. As Iruka organises his inks, Sasuke watches out the corner of his eye. If he can replicate the seal somehow, find out how it was made, he could probably undo it…

“I’ve keyed this seal to my chakra,” Iruka tells him. Sasuke feels a cold shiver run down his back. “If anyone but me tried to tinker with it, it would explode and rip open the chakra coils in your arm.” At Sasuke’s horrified gaze he shrugs a shoulder, pursing his lips in a way that Sasuke realises means that he’s _uncomfortable._ What. “It wasn’t my idea. Tsunade said that there had to be a fail safe in place in case you escaped again. I’m just letting you know, so you make sure that no one else tries to do anything with it, okay?”

Sasuke nods grudgingly. Iruka swirls some ink onto his shoulder and he feels a bit queasy as Iruka’s chakra settles down over him. Sasuke hadn’t realised it was there before, but with the application of the new seal, it’s easy to tell that some of Iruka’s chakra remains.

Iruka quickly packs up his inks as Sasuke rolls his shoulders. Like a tiny wisp, he can feel chakra pooling in his stomach again, but it’s an ember compared to what he’d had in Team 7.

As if he can read the outraged expression on Sasuke’s face, Iruka shakes his head. “I’ve cut off mouldable chakra in that arm, so you can’t make any handseals. You should still be able to tree walk and keep up with your team now if you’re running. That’s all you needed?” Iruka asks Asahina. She nods. “Well, my work here is done then. If you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask.”

Iruka leaves, and Asahina turns to him. “Well, you should be useful as more than bait now. Let’s go to one of the training grounds and we can test it out.”

Sasuke can roof hop again, and he can jump relatively high when Asahina lobs some small fireballs at him. When she challenges him to find her in the trees, he has some trouble sticking to them at first, but within a few minutes he can walk slowly up them.

There’s no sign of Asahina, but he hadn’t expected there to be. He jumps over to the next tree, wavering a bit when he doesn’t stick the landing precisely. Sasuke scowls and attaches himself more firmly to the branch. It’s like he has just a little less chakra available than what he had previously used to tree walk, so when he tries to call the normal amount it doesn’t work. He quashes his frustration and breathes. This is just training, and training is something he can do. He suspects that he will need to increase his chakra control _a lot_ if he is going to be able to function with this amount of chakra.

Stubbornly, he jumps to the next tree and then slips because his feet don’t catch at all. He grabs the branch on his way down and hangs there for a few seconds, fuming. Then he pulls himself back up, to find Asahina standing on his branch. Sasuke stands before her, unwilling to admit either defeat or weakness.

“You’re doing better than I thought you would be,” Asahina tells him. “I found a katana I thought would suit you.” She hands over the sword she’s carrying. It’s shorter than hers and a bit more battered looking, but when he pulls the blade free it sings death.

“That was the sword I carried as a genin,” she tells him, voice a bit softer. “I was a bit lost, just like you are. I hope that it can help you, just like it helped me.”

Sasuke looks up from the gift, mind spinning. So this was why she hadn’t let him take one of the regulation swords. Asahina tilts her head slightly. She wants him to succeed just as much as Iruka does. The realisation unsettles him somewhat. He can deal with her if she’s being forced to interact with him, but he doesn’t know what to do if she _wants_ him to be reformed.

“Let’s try them out, shall we?” Asahina says, smiling. Sasuke has the not so sudden realisation that she’s about to kick his ass.


	2. Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloe can mean _wisdom._

“Griffon, in position.”

“Bear, in position.”

“Tiger, in position.”

…

“Hawk, in position.”

“Still slow,” Griffon reprimands over the comms as Sasuke crouches behind a tree, fuming silently. She knows that he can only chakra jump for short bursts at a time, but she still expects him to keep up with the others. He hadn’t complained in front of her and he doesn’t plan to, but it rankles. He’s determined to meet her expectations.

Three months after joining ANBU, Sasuke hasn’t heard from anyone from his last life except Iruka. He eats, breathes, and sleeps according to Griffon’s instructions, and he _knows_ that he is sharper and faster and more chakra efficient than ever. But Griffon expects more, and damn it all if Sasuke isn’t going to give it to her.

Silently, he creeps over to the next tree, closer to the target. He knows that the other three would be surrounding it as well, in a loose ring to prevent escape. He peeks around the tree and locks onto the target. It’s sitting on top of a park bench, calmly washing its paw.

Sasuke tenses, waiting for the signal.

“Now!” Griffon whispers in his ear, and he blurs forward as fast as he can, burning his meagre chakra capacity in an effort to keep up with his teammates.

Just his luck, the cat takes off towards him, and Sasuke jack knifes in time to grab it around the middle and hold it and it’s flashing claws as far away from his face as possible.

“Target captured,” he says, scowling as Tora digs her claws into the parts of his arms that aren’t protected by an armguard. “I _cannot_ believe I didn’t leave this behind me when I came to ANBU.”

Griffon snorts. Sasuke turns to look at the others, and thinks they might be amused as well. He has nothing to go on except their body language, but since they’re laughing at him a good chunk of the time, he’s pretty sure he can tell when they thought something is funny.

“Let her go,” Griffon tells him, and Sasuke chucks the cat into the bushes. Experience says that if he just set Tora down, she’d go for the throat. “That’s some genin team’s problem now.” Sasuke has his own suspicions about Tora and how she ‘escaped’ and needed ‘finding’, but he doesn’t voice them aloud.

All four of them gather near the park bench. Bear looks him over. “That was almost a passable speed,” she says, and Sasuke grinned under his mask. From her, that’s high praise. “But I could hear you from across the clearing. You should work on your stealth.” Just like he’s working on everything else, but that was fine.

Being on Rho Squad had pushed him to his limits and beyond them. It was strange, because it was a different yet similar type of training – when he had been mastering the chidori, Kakashi had trained him in speed, mostly. Now Asahina does the same thing, but she also teaches him how to more cleanly and effectively use the little chakra he has. He’d always trained with kunai and shiruken, but now it’s the sword, the sword, the sword. Asahina is relentless with his training on that front, and when he would finally begin to think he’d mastered something, she would throw him into a fight against Tsune or Amori and they would cut him down to size. Never literally – he thinks the worst injury he’d ever gotten from training is self-inflicted bruises when he’d tripped over something – and sometimes he thought that made it worse. It meant that every day he was able to perform the same as the day before, but the burning humiliation in his stomach when one of them so casually disarmed him is terrible.

It drives him to do better though, and again he isn’t sure if that’s another training method or not. Asahina seems capable of killing all her birds at once, by getting someone else to throw a stone. It’s probably one of the reasons she’d been promoted to Captain, but it still annoys Sasuke to see her manipulate a situation so efficiently.

“Do either of you want to do anything else?” Asahina asks Amori and Tsune. That’s another thing he’d noticed – she always included them, whether it was an opinion on his training or what colour she should paint her nails this week. They all work together as smoothly as any clockwork he’d ever seen, and he’s the stick thrown into their gears.

“I do,” Amori says, taking off her Bear mask. “But alone. I’ll bring him back later.”

“Okay,” Asahina says, and she and Tsune turn and blur out of the clearing.

Sasuke turns suspiciously to Amori. She purses her lips and then shakes her head. “Okay kid, let’s go get cleaned up. We need civilian wear if we’re going to do what I’ve planned.”

Sasuke follows her back to the barracks and they emerge together clothed as normally as any other ninja. Amori shows him another secret entrance, this time through the basement of a sweets shop, and then seems content to amble through the streets of Konoha silently. Sasuke tries not to lurk in her shadow overly much, but he doesn’t want to see anyone he knows. He isn’t _embarrassed_ – except for how he is. He’d mangled his escape and now had 24/7 supervision with a chakra seal on that means he’s basically as useless as any civilian. If he can go for his entire ANBU career without seeing anyone he knows, he’ll only be relieved.

He’s still planning his escape. He knows that Orochimaru wouldn’t have given up so easily on him, not when he has the Sharingan. As a Sannin, Sasuke thinks that he’ll be able to remove the seal Iruka had put on his neck – he’d have to, if he wants to get any use out of Sasuke. The next time Orochimaru manages to contact him, he’ll tell him about the seal and about his new babysitters. Orochimaru still has some contacts inside Konoha, so maybe he can do something about ANBU. Without them, Sasuke is certain that he can escape, even with the seal on his shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?” Amori drawls, and Sasuke twitches. She doesn’t have any mindreading abilities as far as he knows, so she won’t know about his escape plans. Well, she had to suspect, at least. But he’s sure she wouldn’t know exactly what he’s plotting.

“Just thinking that it’s been a while since I was up here,” Sasuke finally replies, after she hadn’t bowed to his silence. Amori huffs.

“And you probably don’t want to face any of your fellow genin. Don’t worry, Naruto’s gone at least. You probably would have had the most trouble with him.”

“Hn,” he mutters. Where had Naruto gone? He burns to know, but he won’t ask, even though he scowls over the situation. Naruto is allowed to leave the village, but Sasuke can’t? His unasked questions bounce on his tongue, but Amori seems satisfied to have brought them up without answering them.

Amori is more likely to laugh at him whenever he makes a mistake, but she’s also more likely to help him than Tsune. She manages to be more sarcastic than Asahina but less caustic than their Captain’s comments can be. It makes him uneasy, because he isn’t entirely sure where he stands with her. At least he knoes that Tsune dislikes him and Asahina wants him to be reformed. He doesn’t think Amori likes him, but he doesn’t think she dislikes him either.

“You’re probably wondering why I brought you out here,” she says. The sun had set, leaving Konoha in darkness. The busier streets would have lights on them, but the quiet residential street that Amori is leading him down doesn’t have any light but the sickle moon overhead.

Sasuke looks at her, to find her looking around calmly. She turns her dark eyes to him and he tries not to shift under her gaze. “My speciality is front line combat jutsu. I’m a heavy hitter and I know it. Earth jutsu are particularly suited to being a tank.” The corner of her mouth curles up. “You might think of yourself as a tank, but I can assure you, you’re not.” Sasuke bites his tongue but doesn’t cut in. She lifts an eyebrow. “Fire affinities are usually used as ambush attacks. In a battle, they can too easily burn allies as well as enemies, and can often get out of control once the ninja has cut off the chakra supply.”

She nods to the guards on duty as they reached the south gate, and Sasuke breathes the fresh air of the forest as he steps outside Konoha.

“You probably wouldn’t realise, but Konoha was founded here because the Shodaime liked forests so much. But originally, the area where Konoha sits, and the forest around it, was just a large grass plain, just like Grass to the north of us.” She starts walking up a tree, and Sasuke follows her after a moment.

They climb to the top of the tree, and Amori pulls back a branch to show that they’re overlooking Konoha. “If I’m remembering right, it was Tobirama-sama who chose this exact place, for the defensive line of cliffs. These trees are all here because of us, Sasuke. They’re here because of us, and we use them how we wish. So I always take the time to repay them when I can.” She wraps her hand around one of the branches, and Sasuke feels her pulling chakra. After a few seconds, she lets her hand fall. “I feed chakra to the trees here, and it makes them stronger. It’s something I like to do.” She smiles at him, fully, but it’s sad, and Sasuke looks out at the village instead of facing it.

“I know anger. When I was younger, I was very much like you. Sayaka and I have talked a lot about what we should do with you and how we should talk to you.” She sighs, and Sasuke tries to resist hunching his shoulders. “Why do you want to leave the village?”

The casual and straightforward way in which she asks unsettles him. No one had asked, besides Naruto, and even then he’d been asking more for himself than to understand how Sasuke had been feeling. Slowly he lifts his eyes to meet hers. It’s a frank and open gaze, and Sasuke isn’t quite sure how to react to it.

“Why would you say you’re like me?” he asks instead, a deflection.

Amori’s mouth purses, like he’s said something she doesn’t agree with. “When I was younger, I was filled with hate. I desired nothing more than to kill the man who had murdered my jounin-sensei in front of me. Both my parents were civilians, and didn’t understand why I would want to hunt down the man who had broken apart my genin team.” She pauses, and Sasuke tries not to think about Kakashi, and how he would react if something were to happen to him.

“I trained my butt off for about two years, but when I met the ninja who had killed my jounin-sensei, he kicked my ass.” She looked out over the village, chewing her lip absently. “I was lucky to get away alive, honestly. And fuck, I was angry about it.” She sighs. “But then I could almost hear Yamiko-sensei in my ear, telling me that I was an idiot and I was going to get myself killed. It wasn’t anything unusual for her to say, honestly, but it kind of snapped me out of it.” She smiles lopsidedly at him. “If I see him, I’ll do my best to kill him, yes. But I’ve given up looking. And I would probably avoid a confrontation if I could. I know that I would still be lucky to get away alive if I faced him.” She skewers him with her stare. “So, I’ll ask again. Why do you want to leave the village?”

Sasuke tries not to quiver under her glare. “I need to get stronger. And I can’t do that fast enough within the village.”

Amori’s eyes grow cold. “So you’ve placed your greed above everything else.”

“It’s not greed!” Sasuke snarls at her, anger bubbling in him. “How can it be? He murdered my entire family. It’s my duty to kill him.”

“A duty no one would enforce,” Amori says lightly. “After all, you’re the only one left.”

Sasuke grips the branch underneath him so tightly he cuts himself on the bark. “Don’t ever talk about me that way again,” he threatens. Only the self-control he’d gained over the last few months while dealing with Rho let him stay where he was and not throw himself at her.

“It’s true.” She looks at him. “Just when I think I’ve forgotten, you prove to me that you’re an Uchiha all over again. Their stubbornness and temper were legendary – that should have been their motto, not _Loyalty and Honour._ It fits better.”

Sasuke bites his tongue. _Loyalty and Honour._ He hasn’t thought about the Clan motto in… years, maybe. The words are the sharpest barb she’s delivered so far.

Amori twists her mouth when he doesn’t say anything. “So why do you want to kill him?”

“It’s the only thing I have left.” Sasuke tries not to gasp out the words, but he doesn’t think he succeeds. “There is nothing else left for me except this path. He made sure of it, and he knows it. He told me, that night, that I would have to come and kill him!”

Amori’s eyes sharpen in interest. “Did he? That doesn’t sound like Itachi.”

“You don’t know anything about Itachi!” Sasuke yells, standing up straight to try and gain a height advantage. “Don’t you dare speak his name!”

“Itachi and I were on the same ANBU team before I was transferred to Rho. I do know him, and I know that he loves you above all.”

Sasuke turns away violently, staring into the dark forest. “Why did you even bring me out here?” he asks, despair creeping into his voice.

“I just wanted to make you look at the village.” Amori’s voice is subdued. He refuses to look at her. “To make you think about something outside yourself. Do you think the First Hokage built Konoha because he was being selfish? He wanted a safe place for people to live and gather, and he _devoted_ himself to that task. He created this forest for our protection. Look at it, Sasuke. There are bigger things to be thinking about rather than a suicidal wish to sic yourself on your brother when all you’re going to do is make him kill you, especially now, when you know you have no chance of beating him.” She sighs sharply. “And if you want to get stronger, well I can tell you that it’s not who teaches you, it’s how you learn it. I’ve seen people shine under dull masters and others languish under excellent teachers. Kakashi is a brilliant man and he was willing and able to teach you, and you pissed it away. Now Sayaka is taking a chance on you, and all you seem to think or care about is yourself.”

Sasuke reluctantly lifts his eyes to look at Konoha. Under the darkness of night, it twinkles brighter than any star in the sky.

“If you have a duty to your clan, you have a bigger one to your village. The duty of every ninja is to protect and serve.” She’s silent for a long time then, letting him think. Her words weigh heavy in his mind.

“I hope I’ve given you something to think about, at least,” Amori says, a touch of ruefulness in her voice. “I don’t want to drive you away. I want you to redeem yourself as well you know. Yes, because I want Sayaka’s gamble to pay off, but mostly because I don’t want you to fall down the path I so narrowly avoided.”

“You have given me a lot to think about, Amori-san,” Sasuke admits.

She laughs. “After that, I think you should call me Kora-senpai.”

“Alright, Kora-senpai,” Sasuke says slowly, trying out the new words on his tongue.

“Should we go back? It’s getting late.”

“Okay,” Sasuke murmurs. “Okay.”

The lights of Konoha welcom them back as they cross the wall back into the village.


	3. Integrity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloe shows _integrity_

Sasuke thinks about Kora’s words for a long time after that night.

Kora must have said something to both Tsune and Asahina, because they changed their behaviour towards him after their discussion. The three of them are more open now, and spend less time making jokes at his expense, and more at the other ANBU teams. Sasuke thinks that this is probably the normal order of things, so he welcomes the lessening of hostilities as he integrates himself into the squad.

He still keeps track of the shifting exits to the ANBU maze, and he still memorises the scattered guard posts around the underground, but he is no longer sure what he would do if he had a real opportunity to use them.

_So you’ve placed your greed above everything else._

_If you have a duty to your Clan, you have a bigger one to your village._

_That doesn’t sound like Itachi._

_The duty of every ninja is to protect and serve._

_Loyalty and Honour._

Kora’s words echo through his head while they train him, not just in kenjutsu but also in the small things every ANBU knows – how to see things clearly in the mask, the hand signs that ANBU use for silent communication, the patrol routes and secret nooks and crannies around Konoha. After six months in ANBU, Sasuke is officially trusted enough to be put on a roster with the rest of his squad, for in village patrol and guard missions.

 _Loyalty and Honour._ Sasuke supposes that he’s earnt some after not trying to run away again.

“It’s deadly boring, but it’s necessary,” Kora tells him one day when they’re sitting at the supply desk waiting for someone to come in and request something. “After all, you can’t really have someone who isn’t ANBU doing this type of work. I know that sometimes the Hokage employs older or disabled ANBU here, but mostly it’s one of the regular squads. At least we get to chill out down here. Sara and Sayaka are running around the east patrol route, which is annoying as hell. There’s no cover on the eastern road and it’s mostly civilians around there, and they always get so freaked out when they see a mask, it’s like they didn’t even believe that ninja were real. Geez.” She goes back to paring back her nails with her kunai after shaking it in the air. Sasuke doesn’t tell her that she looks like she wants about to stab all the civilians that she’s talking about.

“Does anyone ever clean in here?” Sasuke asks reluctantly, staring at the giant mess in the back of the room.

“Oh, I wouldn’t recommend doing that,” Kora advises. “I think the last time someone went to clean up back there they got lost in the pile for a few days.”

Sasuke wants to say that there’s no way that’s true, but the pile behind them makes him just doubtful enough that he doesn’t say anything.

Life is like that, for a while – simple, routine patrols and guard duty missions. Rho squad even does one shift guarding Tsunade, which Sasuke is sure she was bitter about. She hadn’t acknowledged them at all during the eight hours they’d waited around the Hokage Tower, mostly doing paperwork and attending meetings. She’d looked harried, and Sasuke wondered if Naruto thought this side of being the Hokage would magically disappear because he didn’t like bookwork.

During that time, Sasuke only sees one of the ninja he was a genin with. Shikaku had come to ask for some information from one of the other ANBU teams, and had appeared in the cafeteria with Shikamaru trailing after him. Their eyes had met across the room, and Sasuke had grit his teeth and had been determined to not be the first to look away.

Shikamaru had left with his father, but Sasuke had been haunted for days by his dark, cold eyes. He hadn’t even really _liked_ Shikamaru – why was he having such an adverse effect on him now? Shikamaru’s eyes and Kora’s words ( _Loyalty and Honour_ ) follow him through the days of strict training under Asahina’s guidance.

He’s with Asahina, performing a new kata, when the door of the underground training room opens and Kakashi steps through.

Sasuke freezes, and Asahina whirls, mouth tight and likely about to scold whoever had walked in. When she sees that it’s Kakashi, she snaps a salute and when Kakashi nods at her, falls into an at ease position.

Kakashi doesn’t say anything, looking Sasuke up and down. Sasuke tenses, shoulders curling up defensively.

“Can I take him for a bit?” Kakashi asks, and Asahina nods. Kakashi turns on his heel and walks out of the room. Sasuke doesn’t feel like threat level has been reduced.

“Go after him,” Asahina says, and Sasuke nods once, sharply. He’s already disgraced himself in front of Kakashi, and he’d rather not do the same thing under Asahina.

Sasuke follows Kakashi, a step behind him as they meander through the ANBU maze. When they come across other members, most salute while others bow their heads. It dawns on Sasuke that Kakashi must have been high up and very respected in ANBU for him to get this treatment now, when he isn’t even in ANBU anymore. Or at least, Sasuke assumes that he left. Maybe that’s why he was always so late? He was attending ANBU debriefs?

Kakashi takes them out of the maze and into the rolling fields of the north training grounds. There is movement in some of them, fire and water thrown around in a way that Sasuke envies. It’s only been nine months since his chakra was sealed, but it seems like a lot longer than that. Time in ANBU seems to stretch out, until Sasuke is half convinced that he’s always lived underneath Konoha, in the depths and secrets of the ANBU maze.

Finally, Kakashi chooses a training ground and turns to face him. Sasuke stands his ground. The last time they were alone together, Kakashi tried to talk to him about Naruto, and why looking for power wasn’t the smartest thing he could do.

Now, he’s just standing, seemingly at a loss, just like Sasuke. Then, he flicks a few kunai into his hands, and this, at least, is something that Sasuke understands.

A good hour later, Sasuke is sweating and exhausted, and Kakashi looks as unflappable as ever. “Hmm,” he hums, and it’s as frustrating as it’s ever been.

Sasuke stands and pants, and stares him down. Kakashi tucks his hands in his pockets, and Sasuke relaxes a bit. That was always his way of saying that a training session was over.

“Sayaka has been giving me updates on your progress,” he finally says, and even though Sasuke knew that Asahina must have been giving reports to someone, it’s jarring to know that it had been to _Kakashi_. “She seems satisfied with you.”

Kakashi doesn’t say if _he’s_ satisfied, and Sasuke doesn’t know whether he’s more irritated or ashamed. He’s always left his opinion about Sasuke open like that, and it always drives Sasuke to do better. He will force Kakashi to acknowledge how strong he’s gotten, one day. One day, the jounin will know him as an equal. One day he will associate Sasuke with words like _loyalty_ and _honour._

Kakashi looks him up and down. “How are you finding ANBU?”

“It’s different to what I expected,” Sasuke tells him grudgingly. He’d learnt to guard his words, and he doesn’t appreciate Kakashi dragging them out of him like this.

“But still not to your liking,” Kakashi finishes his sentence for him, and Sasuke’s anger grows within him until he swallows it back down. “You still think that you would have been stronger if you’d left.”

“I _know_ that I would have been.” It’s a fact. If he’d left, he would have been with Orochimaru, learning how to use the curse seal and furthering his studies under the Sannin. Here, he can’t even use a _henge,_ for fuck’s sake _._

“Tsunade will lift the seal on your shoulder in time,” Kakashi says, as if he’d read his mind. Sasuke bristles.

“She never should have put it on in the first place!”

“She gave you an option, when you were in the hospital, to either have the seal or not. You chose to have it.” Kakashi’s voice had taken on an edge, and his grey eye is sharp against Sasuke’s skin.

“Yeah, that or being _chakra burned_.” Sasuke spits the words out derisively. “As if it was even a choice.”

“That’s true,” Kakashi admits. “But you put yourself there in the first place. If you’d stayed –”

“If I’d stayed, I would have been getting stronger at an even slower pace than I am now,” Sasuke snarls at him. Kakashi stays composed as Sasuke balls his fists and resists the urge to charge at him. Kakashi is stronger than him in every way, and he’d only look like an idiot. Patience and self-control. Asahina hadn’t taught him that directly, but being around Rho squad definitely had. Sasuke breathes and unknots his fists. Sometimes it feels like that’s all he did anymore. Patience and self-control. Perhaps that should be his motto instead of _Loyalty and Honour._

“You still think that being on a team slows you down,” Kakashi says into the silence between them, displeased.

“I _know it_ ,” Sasuke mutters, and is rewarded with Kakashi’s eye turning blacker.

“You’re wrong,” Kakashi says, authority ringing in his voice. He sighed. “I know how you feel. I was tutored when I was younger by one jounin, and was then put on a genin team. I didn’t like it either. But I know that it made me stronger.” Sasuke doesn’t rise to his bait. Kakashi doesn’t break eye contact. Neither of them is willing to yield, so Kakashi eventually shakes his head.

“Sayaka told me that she’s been teaching you kenjutsu. I taught her most of what she knows, so let’s see how well she passed it on.”

Sasuke has never seen Kakashi fight with a sword before, but about half a second into the fight he realises that he’s a master of it. _It’s not fair!_ A part of him cries, but he quashes it and does his best to defend against Kakashi’s lazily lethal moves. “Dead, dead and dead,” Kakashi says as he touches Sasuke with his sword. He leaves a point of blood with every “Dead” and Sasuke furiously fights against him, knowing that he can only lose.

Half an hour later, Kakashi tucks away his sword and Sasuke tries not to fall over. He has pricks of red running up and down his arms, and he can feel more covering the rest of his body. Kakashi evaluates him again, and Sasuke squares his shoulders, stubbornly ready to deal with whatever he throws at him next.

Instead, Kakashi starts to amble off the training field. Sasuke follows him resentfully, and doesn’t talk for the next two days.

Kakashi visits again two weeks later, and once again asks if Sasuke thinks that he would be stronger if he’d left the village. Sasuke angrily replies that yes, he would have been. Kakashi once more beats him up with a sword. Sasuke sulks for a few days.

“Do you know what he wants?” Sasuke eventually asks Asahina. She shrugs.

“Kakashi is the most respected ninja in Konoha aside from the Hokage. He teaches some classes here in ANBU you know. But for one on one training, I know enough to know that he takes a different approach with each student. How he trains me would be different to how he trains you. What do you think he’s trying to teach you?”

“Does it annoy you that he takes me randomly and trains me some days?” Sasuke asks, looking for weak points in her armour.

He doesn’t find any. Asahina laughs. “They’re hardly random. And he always asks before he does it. He taught me for a while too you know, so I can hardly be bitter. I know he’s good at what he does.” She turns to look at him, stopping the kata she’d been going through. “Why do you think he’s doing what he’s doing? If I was you, that would be how I would deduce what he’s trying to train you in.”

It’s probably good advice, but Sasuke can’t wrap his head around what Kakashi wants. Obviously, he wants him to admit that he shouldn’t have tried to leave. Sasuke won’t, because it isn’t true and Kakashi should know that. Obviously he isn’t getting stronger doing basic katas day after day, getting his ass kicked by Kora, Asahina or Kakashi, going on patrols around the village, and learning nothing new about the Sharingan or any new jutsu.

It’s a private weight he carries, the Sharingan. He doesn’t let on how much it bothers him that he can’t use it. Sometimes, when he’s fully rested and his chakra reserves are as big as they’ll get, he’ll try to activate it. He’ll feel the familiar heaviness in his eyes, but it only lasts for a second or two before it fades. He looked in a mirror one time, and the Sharingan only blinked into existence for a split second before it was gone.

One of the first things that Kakashi had properly taught him was _always have the Sharingan under your control._ When Sasuke thinks about the seal on his shoulder, Kakashi’s words echo through his head, only making him feel worse about the situation he’s in. The Sharingan isn’t under his control. It’s sealed, out of his reach, and the thought almost makes him throw up. It’s his bloodline, his legacy, his gift, and it’s the only thing tying him to his brother and the ghosts of his Clan. Without the Sharingan he is nothing. _Loyalty and Honour_ was the Uchiha Clan’s saying, but Sasuke knows that even if he has those, he would still be nothing without the Sharingan.

He feels like nothing, most days. Asahina shows him the sword, and gradually he gets to know it. Katas turn into practise bouts, both against Asahina and Kora. Tsune stays out of it, and Sasuke is grateful for it. He hasn’t breached or even touched the wall between them, and he isn’t sure how he can. He lets it lie, but that stings as well, when he’s alone in his room and thinking about his failures and ways he needs to improve. He can’t even master the basics of teamwork that Kakashi drilled into him.

Kakashi is never far from his thoughts. Whether Sasuke is nursing the new bout of stings he received or stressing about the Sharingan, he can’t stop thinking about his former sensei. It’s… annoying. Most of the time the thoughts are simply _Kakashi would see this as inferior work._ Sometimes, it’s Kakashi’s own voice saying _You’re better than this._ That phrase can apply to so many things in Sasuke’s life right now that it always hangs, silent but not forgotten, at the back of his thoughts.

_You’re better than this._

Better than what? Sasuke wants to growl at him, because he never got an answer, and bringing it up now will make him look like an idiot. He wonders if Kakashi knew it would haunt him. Sasuke wouldn’t put it past him.

It hurts, mostly, because he wants Kakashi’s approval. Wants it more than Asahina’s or Kora’s. More than Naruto’s, and maybe even more than Itachi’s. Sasuke had always been the unnoticed one when his family had still been alive, always in Itachi’s shadow. He’d been a kid, and hadn’t really minded, but he’d never had an achievement that wasn’t immediately compared to Itachi. The Academy teachers had never won his regard in the way that Kakashi had when he’d fought Zabuza. They’d never looked Sasuke up and down, evaluated him, and said _I know you can do better._

Kakashi had never compared him to Itachi, either outright or subtly. He’d always judged Sasuke on his own merits. And now that he is finding Sasuke lacking, and Sasuke _knows_ that he is finding him lacking – well.

It isn’t easy for him to deal with.

It only drives him to train harder, stubbornly pushing himself past when he should probably stop. One day, Asahina abruptly lowers her sword and stares at him. Sasuke stares back, wondering how much he’d fucked up for her to not kick his ass before she explained how he messed up.

“We’re leaving,” she tells him, and Sasuke reluctantly follows her back to the barracks where they change into normal gear and leave their masks behind as they venture into the world of light above them. The longer he spends underground the longer Sasuke feels like the light of Konoha is too much for him. It reveals more than he wishes to show, and he only wants to head out under the protective darkness of the night or the anonymity of the mask. Without either, the sun pierces him and Sasuke has to try not to cower under its glare.

He follows Asahina, like he’s always done since he’d been put under her care, always hiding in her shadow. It chafes. The Uchiha Clan once commanded respect – people would fall silent when his father entered a room. They bowed to his mother when she went through the market. But now Sasuke hides, because he has dragged the Uchiha Clan name through the mud, and it’s only by the Hokage’s wish that he’s still alive. Sasuke yearns for the day when he will be able to stand in the baking hot sun and not cower under its revealing light.

But for now he dogs Asahina’s shadow as they move through the village. It’s early morning, and people are just beginning to come out of their houses to begin the day’s activities. Asahina finally stops outside one of the training grounds, and when Sasuke looks at who is inside he tenses up.

Gai lifts a hand, and beside him Lee is a startling bright green figure. Sasuke drags his feet through the dirt as he follows Asahina towards them.

“Gai-san,” Asahina greets him.

“Asahina-san,” Gai says cheerfully. “It’s good to see that you’ve taken me up on my offer.”

Asahina nods once. Sasuke dares a look at her.

“Kakashi’s told me about the limitations that the Hokage has placed on you,” Gai says, looking directly at Sasuke. “I told him that Lee and I would be glad to help with you if your Captain could spare you for a time.”

Sasuke glances away, but he can feel Asahina glaring a hole in the side of his head, so he nods. “Thank you, Gai-sensei.” He manages to not sound too moody.

“Good. You can come and pick him up whenever you like later today, Asahina-san.”

“Thank you,” Asahina says. “I appreciate this.”

“It’s no problem. It’ll be good to have someone for Lee to spar with.” Gai sounds a little too pleased by the notion.

Sasuke finds out pretty fast why he was happy. Lee wins all their spars, and gives Sasuke a new collection of bruises to look over tomorrow. Gai lectures while they move – he shows Sasuke the beginnings of the taijutsu style that Lee is learning to master now, and Sasuke breaths through the movements in an attempt to memorise them – without his Sharingan everything is just so much more _difficult_.

Then they go for a run around the village. Ten times.

Sasuke knows that it’s a few kilometres around the village perimeter, and he’s had to stop to gasp for breath more times than he can remember. Gai had only allowed him a few minutes rest before he pushed them on again, and Sasuke had pushed on through the massive stitch in his side and had _endured_. He is fairly sure that he has only pure stubbornness driving him for the last lap, but when they are finished, Gai had offered to buy him lunch, and Sasuke is more than happy to take him up on it for putting him through that punishing run.

Lunch is time for more talking though – Gai quizzes Lee about the specifics of a new move they’ve been working on while Sasuke hangs his head and tries not to fall asleep and have his head flop into his bowl of spiced udon. The food is a nice difference from the nutritionally bland ANBU fare, but Sasuke would take ANBU fare over the run he just did.

Gai pays for their meal, and then leads them back to the training grounds.

Sasuke learns more of the taijutus style that Lee is outpacing him on already, and then Lee wins more bouts between them. Gai finally takes some mercy on him and sits them down for a strategy session – where Sasuke can finally start to gain some points on Lee, because he’s always been good at thinking things up on the fly, fast paced thinking to find a solution to unique problems. Kakashi had told him that it was because of the Sharingan – all Uchiha needed a quick brain if they were to utilise the information that the Sharingan sent through in time for it to be useful. Lee nods along to his answers, and pushes him by asking following up questions – what about your teammates, what if there were more enemies than expected, how would you use the terrain to your advantage – and Sasuke answers them as best he can. Gai interjects to give new scenarios, but otherwise lets them discuss – and here Sasuke sees why he’d let Asahina dump Sasuke on him for a day. Lee is soaking in the new perspective quickly, and already some of his own answers reflect what Sasuke might think to do in a situation, adapted to Lee’s own strengths and priorities.

It’s… weird.

Gai sees Asahina by the edge of the training field and sends Lee off to do some crunches on the other side of the grounds. Sasuke stands and then almost runs into Gai when he stops in front of him.

Gai turns to face him and criticises him carefully. “Kakashi is worried about you, you know. I don’t like to see him tear himself to pieces over things, and usually I do what I can to reassure him.” The words are said in such a careful voice that Sasuke shivers. From Gai, the simple words sound ominous. The jounin faces him down, and Sasuke feels more unease here than in the entire time he’s been in ANBU. Gai regards him dispassionately and Sasuke tries not to cower. “I would think about your position carefully, Sasuke. You may think that you have nothing at the moment, but if I were you,” he shakes his head. “I would be thinking quite carefully about my situation, and what I really have to lose and gain.”

Sasuke can only manage to make himself nod once. Gai hums, but turns to greet Asahina with his usual vigour.

Sasuke thinks, and _thinks._

Days drip past, and Sasuke isn’t quite sure of himself anymore. The one constant thing in his life had always been Itachi – first, the glowing love of a younger brother, but now only the cold hatred and dreaded duty that Sasuke has as the last living undisgraced member of his Clan.

_Undisgraced._

Sasuke stares at the ceiling of his room and thinks about how close he came to deserting the village and destroying the last of the Uchiha Clan’s credibility.

Sasuke trains with Asahina and tries to decide if his loyalty should be primarily to the village or to himself.

Sasuke gets his ass kicked by Kakashi and when he asks _Do you think you have been stronger if you’d left the village now?_ Sasuke can’t quite bring himself to answer.

 _What do I owe them?_ Sasuke thinks in the dead of night on one of the routine patrols Rho goes on. Owe who? The village? What has it ever done for him? _Only fed and clothed him since the massacre. Only given him a home. Only given him his best friend._ Who Sasuke tried to kill. Naruto is not in the village and Sasuke can’t apologise to him even if he wanted to.

 _So you’ve placed your greed above everything else._ Kora’s words eat away at his insides. Is wanting to be strong enough to kill Itachi selfish? Kora thinks so. Kakashi thinks so. Kora’s words haunt him, guilt warring with anger over them. Sasuke knows that the _loyalty_ in _Loyalty and Honour_ meant the clan first. But he’s the only one left now. He can decide if he still wants to put the clan ( _himself_ ) first, or if he wants to give his loyalty to Konoha.

Sasuke can’t decide on an answer when he thinks about his loyalty.

It’s his _duty_ to kill Itachi – not just for the clan, for his parents, but for _himself_. He needs to know that Itachi is dead. He needs to know that the Uchiha Clan honour has been restored. All Uchiha commanded respect, but he has dragged the Uchiha name through the mud, just like Itachi. Just like Itachi.

It’s his duty to kill Itachi, but – but the reason he needs to, is to clean the stain on the Uchiha Clan’s name. It is _wrong_ that there is a person out there carrying his name who deserted Konoha. Who betrayed the Uchiha values of honour and loyalty.

Somewhere along the line, Sasuke has forgotten _why_ he needs to do what he does. _Loyalty and Honour_. Always, always, the Uchiha Clan name has been respected, but Itachi has tarnished it, and Sasuke has dragged it through the _mud –_

Sasuke changes his mind about a few things.

The next time Kakashi asks him _Do you think you would be stronger than you are now if you’d left the village?_ Sasuke growls right back, sword catching Kakashi’s as they stared at each other.

“ _No,_ ” Sasuke snarls, and Kakashi’s eye twinkles with pride.

Sasuke tries to pretend that his chest is tight because of the exertion of the fight, and not because he feels like something has finally been set right within him.


End file.
